Work Related Trauma

I've had a couple of days off so I spent them in the increasing death grip of my son, who seems to be going through some sort of separation anxiety. I don't know what's going on in his head, and he can't tell me, but I suspect that as he's forced to explore more words and concepts, use more language and has labels for things like emotions, he's having some sort of existential crisis. At least it seems that way to me. Great, now he's been kicked out of the garden and he's aware of his own mortality. Father. Of. The. Year! :)
Seriously though, I ran across a great explanation of the Genesis myth, and why it has such resonance, years ago (I don't remember where), but it ran something along the lines of "Being cast from the primal garden wasn't a punishment per se, but a consequence of gaining sentience. It was a way of expressing our utter aloneness in the animal kingdom, where we seemed to be alone in our knowledge of mortality and our sense of self and memory. When you look at nature, even the creatures that suffer and die seem to exist in a state of grace, but Man has no home, he must build one, and he dwells in the past, and ponders the dreaded future, knowing that he must die one day. He knows shame and guilt, and he must find a way to understand how this came to be, and so he looks back to a time when we were animals as well, and wonders what horrible thing we must have done to be cast out like this, into a world that we must shape around us to survive in. It must have been when we gained knowledge and understanding, and we were somehow pushed out into a world we don't fit in. We must have been tricked, because no one would willingly give up paradise unless there was deception involved, and it was probably a woman's fault, because look how they suffer to bring more of our accursed species into existence (a fact mentioned in the story as Eve's special punishment. You want giant brains? Have fun pushing one through your narrow upright pelvis!).
Sure it seems like a dark and cynical take on humanity, but I understand it works as a metaphor for childhood too, and it speaks to me as a profound insight into the melancholy plight of humans. We are at once uniquely alone in this world, despite what dolphin nuts may tell you. We can't even talk to our closest relatives. We have trouble even talking to each other, even if we're from the same country; hell, we have trouble talking to people from our same family with a set of common experiences and history.
No wonder the Boy is upset these days, he's being pushed out of the garden into a world of chaos and complexity and levels of though he's been unaware of until now. Poor little guy.

Now then, work related trauma, specifically boss related trauma. I've wanted to talk about this for a while, off and on, but it's one of those things that only bubbles up occasionally when something triggers a bad boss memory in a T.V. show or similar. I think I've got a handle on what is making even the best work places so fucking dysfunctional, and it's similar to the process that makes so many relationships dysfunctional (a process that in my younger days I referred to as "Broken Toy Syndrome"). To wit, the ingrained trauma of having worked for some truly appalling bosses in your earlier career. Possibly also dealing with the power structure in high school, I can't discount that one (bad teacher/principal stories another day).
We have all been there to one extent or another. Dealing with a boss who plays mind games, or has a Jeckyll and Hyde personality, or is a raving psychotic who should never have attained a position of power, or my least favorite the Boss who is generally okay but completely blind to the utter asshole supervisor under them and over you.
I remember a sit down I had with a former boss who was doing my six month review, and had a general "well you seem to be doing okay, things are going well" back and forth and then asked "Is there anything you think could be improved or concerns you have? I've noticed that there's this weird tension going on in the shop and I can't figure it out.", and in a moment of insanity I said "Yeah, you could fire the assistant manager, she's the reason that people are at each other's throats. No one wants to work with her." He sort of blinked for a moment and said "Is he that bad?" I nodded back and said "Yeah, she's completely toxic. She's rude to customers, she's an utter shit to the people she works with, and it's gotten out of hand." More blinking "Then why hasn't anyone said anything to me about it?"

"Because you're the Boss."
"I don't understand. I thought I was approachable and easy to talk to?"
"Well, you are, but no one really believes it. See, we've all worked for Bosses that seemed like that, and as soon as you made a real complaint, you got to see their darker side pretty damn quick. Now, I know you're actually a nice guy who has no real agenda except seeing the shop run well, and that's why I'm telling you this, but seriously, haven't you noticed the way the employees flinch sometimes when you talk?"
"Yeah, I don't get that. So people think this is an act and I'm just waiting to pounce?"
"Yep, that's pretty much it. I don't think it's even conscious for most of us, we've just been conditioned to think like that. Surely you've had similar experiences. The only reason I'm telling you this is my last job gave me a bleeding ulcer from the stress of dealing with a bad boss, and I'm going to simply be honest with you. If you fire me for that, then bullet dodged and I'll go on to something else."

He got real quiet like for a while.

The whole thing is like some sort of sick relationship where even if you've finally found someone who is nice and stable and willing to work things out, the past twelve relationships you've had have so damaged you you're no longer willing or able to trust the person you're with.